The Way We Raise Children Today Might Do More Harm Than Good
This article brings back not only my childhood, but those of my own children.
I grew up in a Manhattan apartment with weekend visits to the park and where pigeons on the fire escape were my only animal friends. It all changed when we move to Florida when I was eleven. That's when the world opened up for me because, all of a sudden, I had a yard and I could play with neighborhood friends until it got dark and was dragged indoors. It was an amazing change for a chained apartment dweller to being outside until dark. My house was the place where we gathered and it was all good fun that started everyday after school and at 7 AM Saturday morning. We had, within limits, our run of the land. We did stuff that we shouldn't have done, but thankfully we got away with all of our childhood indiscretions.
My girls grew up in a different world. They had their adventures, I'm sure, but their actions were way more supervised than mine and their father's were. All told, I feel blessed that my girls are doing very well. I don't know how my husband and I pulled that off, but we did. Yes, we managed to bring two very adept adults into this world in spite the years of nonsensical child rearing news.
I really don't know how credible this article is, but it sounds like something out of ... these are the days of our lives.
Please feel free to talk about your childhood days, though, because that would be more interesting.
14 comments:
I grew up in the country with horses and chores and rifles and fishing. And while my situation was somewhat dysfunctional, it was much better than the lives my siblings lived.
My daughters (4) all grew up in suburban Southern California with different standards expected of them than those of many of their peers. The girls knew that honesty, respect, doing their homework, etc. were put in place because we loved them. As with your daughters, they grew up to be pretty cool adults.
As parents, we do the best we can. There aren't any dress rehearsals for parenting.
Yes things are far different now than when we grew up or our children did. I had discipline, my son had discipline and now many kids show no respect at all. It's all about them. Safe zone and other ridiculous things. Yes, things are far different now.
Have a fabulous day. ☺
LL: Horses, chores, rifles and fishing doesn't sound dysfunctional to me. It sounds ideal to this city girl.
Sandee: I agree. Times were different when I was growing up. I look at my childhood as idyllic thanks to my parents.
As an adult I now see that they pushed hardship away from my eyes.
I had the idyllic childhood where I was on roller skates from dawn to dusk with no thought of anything bad happening to us.I raised my children--now adults--the same.
Not to sound paranoid but if I had young children today i would probably be a helicopter because it is a different world.
Unless forced to, i don't like to discuss my childhood, lots of pain there.
My children were allowed to go play in the creek and the wooded areas, they had a blast. Things are changing, though, i'd probably have to go with them now.
Grew up in a sub dominated by immigrants.
Played ball in the street or vacant lots.
Crawled through milk chutes to let moms in who locked their keys in.
Mowed lawns for cash.
Water balloon fights block wide.
Walk to corner store to pick up cigs and beer mor mom and dad.
Pre-teens moved to a rural area.
Ride bikes for miles.
Fishing, shooting, working on cars before licensed, gone all day, be home at 6 for dinner.
My kids, similar.
One in Navy (SCPO, COB), one in own business, one in prison.
I had tons of freedom as a child growing up. We lived in small towns and if my parents weren't watching me, the rest of the town was. My children could never have that same freedom because we lived in a large city.
Jan: Different times indeed. I had roller skates that fit onto my shoes (with a key) and I stumbled about on them, but not all day. Even back then, I liked terra firma... the more firma the better ;)
Our girls are youngish millennials now and we watched them, often from afar, but we watched them. I know they would've enjoyed more freedom as children, but we couldn't risk it.
Messymimi: I'm sorry to hear you don't like talking about your childhood. I didn't know you then, but what I know about you now is that you turned out exceedingly well. And yes, I would definitely follow my kids today if they were younger. My girls are grown women and there's not much I can do except hope that their upbringing will help them navigate life.
Ed Bonderenka: Life is full of good and bad episodes. We push through the bad days and, when we're lucky, we enjoy the good days. Here's to more good days than bad.
Granny Annie: You made a valid point about the town neighbors watching over you. Tampa isn't a big city, but it has quite a bit of crime for a city its size. My girls attended a small private Catholic school until 8th grade so we got to know the students, their parents, the teachers, etc., and would always attend the yearly events.
One of my neighbors was a family friend and our kids were very close in age and we attended many of these school-related activities over the years. She told me a story about her oldest daughter who had a friend who gotten into some trouble. My friend called this girl's mom about the trouble and was treated very rudely by this girl's mother. Basically, she didn't want her snooping into her daughter's business and to not rat her out again.
I told my neighbor that if she ever saw one of my girls doing something they shouldn't be doing to please call me right away and I'd do the same for her. It was a pact.
Fast forward a few years... we hear a loud noise coming from the empty lot next to our house and we notice a truck doing wheelies. My husband runs out and the driver turns out to be the youngest son of this neighbor that I'd made the pact with years before. This young man saw my husband yelling at him and he stopped immediately; he was remorseful and apologetic. He promised he would never do it again. We let him go without reporting to his parents because we didn't think it was such a bad deed. The next gullywasher got rid of the truck tire marks.
I never told his mom. I hope she doesn't read my blog ;)
It's good to know that there are friends and neighbors watching out for our loved ones. I know that I have many neighbors watching out for our German Shepherd, Elke, too, who likes to visit her friend, Panther, the Rottweiler down the street.
Good people have to stick together.
Unless forced to, i don't like to discuss my childhood, lots of pain there.
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phann son: Get off my blog or I'll report you to the authorities.
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