A Little Irish Humor

Little Leprechaun

Little Patrick asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, so she said yes.

When he went to wipe his bum there was no toilet paper so he used his hands.

When he got back to class his teacher asked, "What do you have in your hands?"

Patrick said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away."

He was then sent to the principal's office and the principal asked him, "What do you have in your hands?"

So little Patrick said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away."

He was sent home and his mom asked him "What do you have in your hands?"

So little Patrick said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away."

He was sent to his room and his dad came in and asked, "What do you have in your hands?"

So again little Patrick said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away."

Then his Dad got really mad and yelled, "Open your hands!"

And little Patrick opened his hands and said, "Look Dad you scared the shit out of him!"

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A drunk Irishman staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth and sits down, but says nothing.

The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk continues to sit there, not saying a word.
Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.

To which the drunk mumbles, “Sorry, can’t help you. There’s no paper on this side either.”


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A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."


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In closing,

I can make you all speak Irish...

Say "Whale oil beef hooked" quickly


🙂