Monday, August 22, 2005
Tom Zaps Oprah!
From News.com.au comes news that loony Tom Cruise is doing everything in his considerable power to convert Oprah to the cultish faith of Scientology. In addition to zapping her with purple rays (shown above), crazy Cruise recently bought a house two doors away from Oprah in the glamorous suburb of Santa Barbara, California, so that under the guise of being a good neighbor, he can zap her with the mind control scientology rays with impunity.
Fellow Scientologist and Pulp Fiction star John Travolta is also trying to woo Oprah into joining the nutty cult by recently presenting her with a $700,000 Bentley car for her birthday.
Oprah would be a huge catch for the Scientologists, one internet site announced this week, and you can almost see Cruise's eyes gleaming at the prospect. Another adds: "If Oprah falls into the hands of Scientology, who can tell what influence she might have on the population? The prospect is terrifying."
All I can say is, "Oprah, you don't go there, girl!"